Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Fashion Police rant

There are things we see as adults that we just know if we had seen them as a child, we would have been scarred for life and would possibly never leave the house again.
Case in point: Larger woman in a very tight mini-skirt bending over to get something off the floor.... Ummmm, lady, the last thing I really need to see is your whoo-ha hanging out all over the place. Look in the mirror. Then look again as if you were looking at a stranger. Then, go back to your closet and find something else to wear so you don't flash (or moon) your co-workers.

There is more need these days for the fashion police than ever before. "Skinny" hip-hugger jeans really don't look good on anyone who wears a size 18 (or larger). Especially when said person seems to think they still wear a size 14. Add a 'belly shirt' and all eveyone else sees is muffin-tops. Made of jello. This is really not attractive. Please people! There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with wearing the size that fits! Honest, there are clothes for those of us who are 'healthier' than the average that look good and are "in". I wear a size 20 and I don't have a problem actually purchasing clothes that not only fit, but look good.

Larger people aren't the only ones making the fashion faux pas these days. I have seen otherwise intelligent people leaving the house in color combinations that are not only unflattering, but you can get the same painful effect by scraping your eyes with a cheese grater. "Hey, Mister! Whoever told you that it was okay to wear a lime green and blaze orange tie was wrong." And, yes, there are times when its okay to mix different patterns. But it is never, ever okay to wear a red and blue striped shirt with yellow, green and black plaid pants (my ex did this regularly).

Finally, "Casual Fridays" does not mean wear your jammies to work. Nor does it mean that you can wear your rattiest, holiest, worn-out jeans with a Megadeth t-shirt. At least, not in an office setting. I'm sure that somewhere there exists a description of what "office casual" means. There has to be. I don't want to have to be the one to write it....


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