Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Bitch Post

January 5 and I'm ready for winter to be over.  Hello, welcome to my bitch post where I let off some steam and just complain about everything that bugs me.

Typos. Yeah, everybody has them, nobody wants them, and so many otherwise intelligent people don't fix them!  If you want me to take you seriously, fix your freakin' typos! Nothing says "I don't care" better than 'teh', 'adn', 'thier' and myriad other un-fixed mistakes.

Then there are those who refuse to use the right word.  Too, to and two are NOT interchangeable. A person bragging about being a teacher for 27 years should know the difference, but apparently not. Or, s/he is "to lazy too go back" and fix what is obviously a stupid mistake (made more stupid by not fixing it).

If you are under 30, don't bitch about being old.  Especially to me.

If your dress size is 6, don't bitch to me about being 'fat.'  I wear a size 20 sweetheart, and I will not be nice to you.

If you go out and get really, really drunk and then decide to call someone at 3:00 AM, don't be surprised if that person decides to play with you.  If I am the person you end up drunk dialing to, I WILL ask to speak to your mother and I WILL expect you to wake her up. Why? So I can ask her why you are unsupervised since you are obviously not in control of your own actions.  If your mother is not available, I will think of something else.  Your best bet is to leave the phone off.

I am not amused by people who drive cars through puddles and slush and the like just to splash pedestrians. I am so not amused by it that I will take down your license plate and file a complaint with the local police department.  Especially if I am on my way to work wearing a suit that needs to be dry-cleaned. You WILL pay.

Not everyone wants to listen to the music you are playing in your car.  Nor do we need to have our windows rattling. Yes, you are impressed by your wonderful sound-system in that really ratty beater you drive. Take it somewhere else. You made me miss half of the dialog on the television program I was watching.

If you are smart enough to have graduated from college, then you are smart enough to know that when I am reading a book and have headphones on, I really don't want to talk to you.

That's enough for now, I think.  I'll get around to the rest of the bitches later.


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