Twisted Easter

Although I am not Christian, I did get into the secular part of Easter when my kids were small. I'd hide eggs and baskets. Occasionally, the cat would find said eggs while I was sleeping and we'd find an egg in the middle of the living room floor kinda cracked and smooshed.... apparently, Easter eggs are fine cat toys.

My kids discovered early on that there was no Easter bunny and chocolate bunnies also did not exist. We had the Easter Chipmunk. And really adorable Chocolate Chipmunks for them to eat. This happened by accident one year, and I had to foster that story on purpose for a lot of years after that (still do, btw).

As I was putting the baskets together one year (helping out said bunny), one of the chocolate bunnies was dropped and the ears broke off... Damn. Not only did they break off, they shattered. So, I warmed a knife up, and smoothed off the bunny's head (and ate the ears). Of course, I had to do the same for any other bunnies that were around. From that time on (1982 or so), the legend of the Easter Chipmunk lived.

In the late 1990's I was shopping for candy and discovered that one of the candy companies finally figured out what I had known all along: The best part of the choc. bunny was the ears. For a year or two, one could buy just the bunny ears! Of course, this did nothing to abate the ear-ectomies going on late at night on the night before Easter.

To this day, there are Easter Chipmunks wandering around, looking for a way to get into your celebrations.

Weird stuff that's in my head

I don't really "get" Easter. Its a Christian holy day that is determined in a very Pagan manner (the first Sunday after the first full moon after the Spring Equinox). From there, you count backwards for Good Friday, Maundy Thursday and Ash Wednesday.

Okay, now for the week leading up to Easter.... First, you have virtual cannibalism; then either a sacrifice, murder or execution; and finally, a couple days later, reincarnation (or a zombie, depends on who you talk to).

What I want to know is: Where do the chocolate bunnies come in? And the jelly beans?